A Wild Revelation Blows My Mind

I told God I was willing to serve, in any way, on two conditions; it had to be enjoyable and I had to get paid enough to support myself. Coming from a time of such stillness, I effortlessly got I was to move back to the east coast, to which I effortlessly said yes. And continuing in this listening energy, when first a friend recommended for me to work in a psychiatric hospital (she worked in the mental health field), then my Dad's neighbor the next day told me about an opening at a private psychiatric hospital 5 minutes away, I acted.

For my first 3 weeks working as a psychiatric technician at Dominion Hospital, I cried every day. There was so much pain in that building and it seemed like I was feeling it all. Eventually, however, I did build up an immunity as I was told I would.

I loved working at Dominion! I loved that being of service 8 hours a day meant a lot of talking about real things. I was thrilled I received a paycheck for something I loved to do. In addition to the work, the staff was fun and I made some wonderful friends. I had never been happier in my life.

One day in the quiet of my apartment, I began to read some of my old journals, when I read something that blew my mind. 6 years earlier I had been having dreams where there was some discussion about my possible death. Everything was fine in my waking life, and the dreams themselves weren't emotional, just matter of fact. Then I had this dream, recorded August 16, 1987:

"I had a dream the other night about how I didn't want to die because I have so much to live for. I saw me working like in a psychiatric hospital, making friends with the staff and the feelings of comfort and love was there. All the senses seemed to be at work in an effort to convince somebody (I think it was myself or maybe God - something non-identifiable - or it was trying to convince me - there were 2 things there, who was doing the convincing and who was doing the listening is unknown) that to die now and I'd miss out on a very happy life. I must say it was pretty convincing and I woke up feeling refreshed and motivated and happy at the thought of such a nice future."

I shook as I read this knowledge written years before. What knew I was going to be working at this hospital and knew I'd be as happy as I was? And all the things that had happened in the 6 years in-between that dream and working at Dominion, did It know that was all going to happen to0? Did I really have choice in my life? So many questions, but I didn't try to answer them at that moment, I just let myself revel in the awe-inspiring mystery of this Love-Intelligence that was way, way beyond my human concepts.