Practice, Patience and Peace

Doing my 3 spiritual practices began to give me a stable, inner strength I had never known before. I found a TM center, paid for my mantra, took some basic meditation classes and began meditating twenty minutes twice a day. Journaling was always fun and the consistent exercise was helping me physically. Spiritually I was now feeding myself, and with that, I realized my time in ministerial school was at an end. I was there only for spiritual growth, but I had no calling from God to be a minister, so to continue there felt out of integrity with my Soul.

What was next? I had no idea, so I decided to spend a month in the silence. I told all family and friends not to contact me, I didn't work, go to school, watch t.v. or listen to the radio. I read, meditated, walked, journals, read for 30 days.

Just up the street from the TM center was Lake Shrine Temple. I knew nothing about the organization, but the lake was beautiful, surrounded by statues dedicated to each of the world's religions. I went there almost every day to read and contemplate. They had a bookstore with a guru's picture, so I made sure to steer clear of that, as I had heard so many news reports of unethical Hindu gurus.

The first half of the month being in the "silence" was agony. By the second half of the month, however, my mind had slowed down quite a bit and I knew the "Peace that passes all human understanding." Though no clarity about what I was supposed to do with my life came at the end of the 30 days, I was clear that I was supposed to participate in life and not be a hermit. Finding peace away from the active world felt very familiar, and my growth this lifetime was to find that Peace in the midst of worldly activity. This clarity was energizing and freeing, the question of being some sort of hermit was now off-the-table.

The last Wed. of my 30 days, I went to a evening service and the Agape International Center of Truth. I had been there before, but had found the yelling too much, as well as the non-linear style of Rev. Michael a turn-off. Yet I was pulled back there after the month of silence, and as I sat in the sanctuary, eyes closed, mind still, I was in awe both in what Rev. Michael was saying and the inner place from where it was coming. I remember looking around at the people, amazed, all these people were getting the depth of this mysticism. Church was now up-leveled to a whole new stratosphere. I sat in awe and gratitude for the richness my spiritual life was becoming.