Love Is The Answer

It was during the Christmas season that my journey with my Beloved, Jesus The Christ, became the most important thing in my life. I loved the stories of Jesus I learned in church, mostly that He loved everyone and everything, and did not judge anyone. My Mom raised me to believe that Jesus was the greatest human being that ever lived, though she was unsure about all the miracles and other -worldly stuff. I am so grateful for this as it allowed Jesus to be a hero for me, someone I could aspire to be like, as he was human just like me.


It is in this context that, during a Christmas season when I was in elementary school, I turned off all the lights in the downstairs area of our house (except in the kitchen where my Mom was making dinner). I turned on the Christmas tree lights and the one orange electric candle that stood on our upright piano. I put a Christmas album on my Dad's phonograph and I danced around the living room to the holy songs praising Baby Jesus. When Away in the Manger started playing, I pretended the manger with Jesus was right there in the middle of the living room and I danced around it. As I danced, I loved with my whole heart and being this Baby Jesus, and I also felt and received, His vast, unconditional love for me...I stopped dancing and just stood there loving and being loved...and suddenly, this place where I had been imagining Baby Jesus became full of Light. This Light raised up and moved toward me, though it had no personification, it was simply Love. And this Love merged with me, and I was It and It was me and all of life. It encompassed everything. I am aware of my Mom in the kitchen being in the Light too, there were no walls, and the Light was far beyond anything I could "see".


This Love was beyond, beyond, beyond any love I thought I had known before this. I loved and adored my family, and yet I was struck by how small this love was compared to God's Love. I don't know how long the experience was, maybe just for a moment, maybe longer. I just know from that moment on, my life was God's. I didn't know what that meant, but I knew everything paled in comparison to that Love, and that my life was committed to It, through Jesus The Christ, forever. Baby Jesus in a manger, not even the man who became a Master Teacher, but a baby, innocent, no -thing added, simple, pure I Am Love - from which all life is birthed and which all life returns - this is the Truth about life for me, the Truth I have aspired my whole life, to Be.